Time functions with asymptotically hyperbolic geometry play an increasingly important role in many areas of relativity, from computing black-hole perturbations to analyzing wave equations. Despite their significance, many of their properties remain underexplored. In this expository article, I discuss hyperbolic time functions by considering the hyperbola as the relativistic analog of a circle in two-dimensional Minkowski space and argue that suitably defined hyperboloidal coordinates are as natural in Lorentzian manifolds as spherical coordinates are in Riemannian manifolds.